Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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