there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
