My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
