On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
