Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
