I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
