Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
