Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
