brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
