Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
