saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
