so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
