So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
