I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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