So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
