Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
