nut hugger
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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