your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
