Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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