I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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