i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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