I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
