i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
