Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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