Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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