i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
