Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
