Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
