bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
