How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
