oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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