how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
