I want to walk on stilts...naked
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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