i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
