There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
