we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
