I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
