She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
