How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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