My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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