after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
