To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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