do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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