Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
