Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Drunk is not a location!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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