Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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