Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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