the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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