google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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