just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
