'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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