so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
