There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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