rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
